Transforming Your Life: Mastering Resilience
Super Resilient, the ability to adapt in the face of adversity, while having lifelong skills learned while on your journey of mastering resilience. It is a vital attribute for living on purpose.
Before we get any deeper into what it takes to become super resilient, let’s talk about what happens when you’re not.
You have regrets. You look back to a year ago, five years ago or more, and realize you’re making the same mistakes over and over, unhealthy relationships, people pleasing, constantly putting others’ needs before your own. Wanting desperately to be seen and heard.
You’re further away from where you thought you would be by now. You remained on autopilot for weeks and months at a time.
You see others around you experiencing more joy in their lives than you do, and you want to avoid them. You’re lonely.You hold it all in and hide your feelings and let everyone know you’re ok, that you’ve got this. But you don’t.
You don’t know why your body startled so easily when you heard a loud noise. Numbing is familiar, scrolling endlessly or binge watching even the most mundane shows, and finding ways to soothe yourself or check out to avoid feeling. You’re afraid if you let yourself feel the feelings you have, you won’t be able to rein them back in.
You’re sick a lot or have other physical ailments. Mentally you feel depressed and anxious, unappreciated, unwanted, and unworthy. You tell yourself you should take care of yourself better, “I should go to the gym…I should eat healthier, I should walk more, I should stop smoking, I should drink more water, I should get more sleep, I should just get over it” The list goes on and on.
You don’t know what your purpose is, let alone live on purpose. You don’t think about it anymore because it hurts to not know.
The data is clear. The underlying cause of physical and mental unwellness (among other things) can be tied back to exposure to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) before you were 18 years old. Since the original ACE Study nearly three decades ago, data has been collected to measure the impact of 10 specific adversities occurring in childhood in the categories of abuse, neglect and family dysfunction. Without intervention or buffering exposure to ACEs leads to all sorts of predictable problems. I know.
The odds were stacked against me. I was exposed to 5 ACEs before second grade and 8 by the time I graduated high school.
If you agree with any or many of the conditions described above, there’s a chance that you experienced ACEs when you were younger. The outcomes were predictable based on the science of ACEs.
I believe that what is predictable is preventable.
In my book, Mastering Resilience: Transforming Into Your Purpose, and the course based on the book, I dive into the topic of resilience. Remember, resilience implies that adversity happened. There would be no need to become resilient, if you hadn’t faced adversity, right? It’s about giving purpose to that adversity. Without allowing it to have meaning, it all happened in vain. And deep inside, you want to be on the other side of it in a powerful way.
The book offers a simple recipe (though not necessarily easy) for mastering resilience. Ingredients such as establishing your BIG Why (your inspiration to achieve the vision you have of your best self), Commitment - which serves as the absolute motivation to keep going, even when you don’t want to, and Clarity about your unique self, the authentic self, get blended together. The best and highest version of yourself emerges and you have tools and strategies to tackle adversity, from the past, and to be able to successfully manage it in the future.
Let’s explore the many benefits of mastering resilience and becoming super resilient. The Return of Investment (ROI) if you will.
The Breakthroughs: Unstuck and Purposeful
When readers and course participants lean into resilience, they experience breakthroughs that were previously unimaginable. They disentangle themselves from harmful behaviors that were misaligned with their purpose. Instead, they find themselves more aligned, feeling a sense of liberation and an energized focus towards their dreams and goals.
Inspiration and Action
A resilient mindset sparks a fiery inspiration that fuels action.
Imagine shifting from spending countless hours scrolling through social media to actively carving out your path as the best version of yourself. It's more than possible; it's probable when resilience is in play.
Increased Productivity
Resilience is a productivity power tool. It helps individuals stay focused, motivated, and productive despite setbacks and obstacles. The result? Increased efficiency and effectiveness in achieving personal and professional goals.
Improved Mental Health
Resilience offers a robust defense against mild to moderate mental health challenges. It equips individuals with a coping mechanism to tackle stress and anxiety, helping them adapt to difficult situations.
Enhanced Emotional Wellbeing
Resilience is a salve for the soul. It offers emotional wellbeing, reducing the risk of burnout. Ultimately, a resilient person enjoys a better quality of life, emanating a joy that is infectious.
Enhanced Relationships
Resilience doesn't just benefit the individual; it extends its effects to interpersonal relationships. With resilience, conflicts become easier to manage, communication is more effective, and forming healthy boundaries is no longer a daunting task.
Career Advancement
Resilience is a valuable asset in the workplace. It helps individuals adapt to changing circumstances and challenges, often leading to career advancement opportunities. Who wouldn't want that?
Increased Self-awareness
The journey to resilience is a path of self-discovery. The introspection and self-reflection involved in building resilience lead to increased self-awareness and personal growth. And trust me, self-awareness is a gift that keeps on giving.
Better Physical Health
Trauma can leave an imprint on physical health, manifesting as chronic pain, gastrointestinal problems, and sleep disturbances. Healing from trauma - a process where resilience plays a significant role - can lead to improved physical health and reduced risk of chronic illness.
Improved Quality of Life
Healing from trauma has a domino effect, leading to improved quality of life. It ushers in happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose that makes life worth living.
Breaking the Cycle of Intergenerational Trauma
Trauma can seep through generations, often through learned behaviors and coping mechanisms within families. Healing one's own trauma disrupts this cycle, preventing it from being passed down to the children and grandchildren.
Modeling Healthy Coping Mechanisms
When individuals have healed from their own trauma, they are better equipped to model healthy coping mechanisms for future generations. This can include setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking help when needed.
Creating a Safe and Stable Environment
A healed person can create a haven. Healing from trauma paves the way for a safe and stable environment for children and future generations, fostering a sense of belonging and creating positive memories.
Improving Relationships
Healing from trauma has a transformative effect on relationships. Individuals are better able to form healthy and fulfilling relationships with partners, children, and other family members. This creates a positive family dynamic that can be carried forward to future generations.
How Could These Benefits Transform Your Life?
Resilience is not just about overcoming adversity. It's also about flourishing in the face of it. It's about turning your trials into triumphs and your obstacles into opportunities. The ROI of mastering resilience is truly immeasurable, transcending the traditional confines of material success.
Remember, resilience is a journey, not a destination. It is a constant process of growth and evolution. And the returns? They're not just for you. They ripple out, touching every aspect of your life and every person you interact with. From improved mental and physical health to enhanced relationships and increased productivity, the benefits are far-reaching.
Moreover, resilience cultivates a legacy of healing and growth. By breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma and modeling healthy coping mechanisms, you can make a profound impact on future generations. This is perhaps the most significant ROI of mastering resilience: the opportunity to change not just your own life, but also the lives of those yet to come.
So, I invite you to embark on this journey of mastering resilience. Unleash your potential, uncover your purpose, and unlock a world of unseen returns. Resilience isn't just about surviving; it's about thriving. And believe me, the return on investing in resilience is a life truly lived.
If you’re ready to begin your journey to mastering resilience, check out my course here. And feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how to get started.